UK Gold Announces Sexy Model Jessica Wright As New Spokesmodel

Jessica Wright can do no wrong when she’s in a bikini. Actually, she can no wrong, ever. She’ll alway be Wright. At least until she takes another last name. Then I’ll be sad, and she’ll be something else. But one thing you can’t change about her is how perfect she is. With or without swimwear. She’s the best thing to look at on land or in the water. Although I prefer her in the water because she’s less covered up and her body is a show I want to have front row seats to.

I was in need of a new hobby, and thanks to Jessica, I now know what I want to take up. Bird watching and bug collecting seems so dated, so I will take up beautiful women watching and collect the artifacts they leave behind. Staring at Jess from a distance and waiting to gather her half chewed straw for my records seems like the perfect way to spend my extra time. I thank Wright for being my inspiration that hopefully doesn’t get me arrested for misdemeanor stalking. I vow to continue my hobby until I have every discarded item Jessica has ever left behind at the beach in my possession.

Photo Credit: MEGA / Backgrid USA / Instagram