7 Backyard Amusement Park Rides That Will Probably Kill You

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Recently we were all stunned and/or delighted to see a Texas man, David Salmon, fall off a homemade water slide that was on private property in Austin. Salmon suffered broken ribs, a broken arm, and lacerations on his back, but nothing that required surgery.

Rides in giant parks like Disneyland are very, very safe. Those at state fairs are safe enough. But as the venue gets smaller and smaller, the dangers get larger and larger. So when there's an attraction in someone's personal backyard, you can be fairly confident about not being confident. These contraptions meet zero safety requirements and haven't been tested on anyone until the first brave soul climbs aboard.

Here are some DIY rides you should probably avoid. If you do get hurt, please remember the owners' "no refunds" policy.

Backhoe Spinner

Is construction equipment dangerous? Sure, it requires a special license to operate and hard hats and eye protection but isn't all that for sissies? One lucky kid climbs into a backhoe's jagged, filthy digging bucket and gets to spin around, not very fast, while hoping his dad doesn't accidentally hit the release switch.

Human Hamster Wheel

This contraption raises some interesting questions: How do you get in it? No idea. How do you get out of it? No idea. How do you stop if there's a problem? You don't. What if your foot falls through a hole in the fencing? That would be bad. Watch the guy at the end take the experience to a new level by hanging on to the outside; the video finishes before he flies fifty feet into the bushes.

Haystack Water Slide

Giant bales of hay? Check. Inflatable mattress? Check Five drunk bros with hazy ideas about mortality? Check. Once they actually get the "raft" over the edge, the ride works pretty well and ends in a lake. But you can see there are no walls or guides in any part of the slide, and no way to steer, so they could just as easily tumble over the side and end up with hay sticking out of them like porcupines. Watch how close they come to flying right off the slide entirely.

Backyard Roller Coaster

This POV video is pretty cool, because you really do feel like you could die. From the very start, the rider almost hits his car's back bumper before careening around his (very large) property. Along the way, there's gravel, bricks, stones, and tree branches, all of which would leave quite a mark if the car left the tracks due to the slightest obstacle. There's even a wall situated right at a curve, as if daring riders to fly off the track and slam into it. 

Human Slingshot

Everyone's in danger with this horizontal bungee adventure. First, there's the ATV driver who almost slams into the building. Then there are the spectators standing beneath a fraying wire and wobbly posts. Finally, there's the poor human slingshot themselves, who are one restraint failure from being splattered onto the side of the hill. If you thought Utah was a harmless place, think again.

360° Solo Swing

Most of the attractions on this list carry multiple riders, so if you get hurt, someone can rescue you or call for help. Not so with this solo swing. It's just you, a counterweight, gravity, and the law of averages. While the arm's motion means you probably won't get stuck at the top of the arc, there's still a decent chance you'll be tossed half a mile like a catapult (or is it a trebuchet?) or the entire thing will collapse on you, with no one nearby to hear your screams. And with only one rider, you just know the wait time will be hours. Better hit it first thing in the morning.

Mini Ferris Wheel

Place your bet on which will happen first: One of the carriages breaking or the guy in the yellow shirt falling into the mechanism and getting torn in half. Not sure you'd buy the photo of that after the ride.

Did you ride -- or build -- any attractions like these at home? Share them in the comments.