Shakira Rabid Hot On Cover of New Single

I remember when my friend Barney Giddler got bit by a squirrel on a scouting campout. He was out nature walking or some such scouting type shit he wasn't supposed to be doing alone and came running back to the little tent we had screaming about how some squirrel had up and bit him bloody on his hand. We all rushed him to the emergency room before he started foaming at the mouth and just as they were about to stick him in the gut with the big needle, he confessed that there wasn't any squirrel, but he'd hit his hand on a rock while trying to explore the natural wonders of his johnson beneath the stars and was too embarrassed to tell.

This is the kind of rabies I think Shakira is going to cause with this photo on the cover of her printed single, 'Rabiosa'. Shakira remains the worlds hottest midget with a body and booty that just seems to get tighter and tighter with each passing album. Keys to success as a musical diva: be hot, have a sweet tight rump, and sing songs that involve shaking that rump. It'll at least buy you a few bazillion male fans, me included. Enjoy.